So things are just different and its so hard to get used to....I sometimes can't accept because I find comfort in things that don't usually change. It may come across as boring but I get a feeling of safety out of it. There are days that I don't know what I do with everything that lingers in my mind I just pray so hard that the consequences for my mistakes don't drag me too low. I do expect for my ridiculous decisions to come back and I hate myself for them, for wanting something to subsidize my numbness that in turn just beats my thoughts like the cramps I get every month. Why do others thing I'm an amazing human being and I dont? Why is that the only way I've known how to do things apparently is the wrong way for everything else...How do I go back now? I just pray its somehow okay ....I would like to think so
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